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Hand over the Jade monkey.

Sitting at work, my mind is in the same clouds that normally calls home. Clouds of self loathing, misery, and depression. Most of which seem to stem from my own insecurities, and paranoia. I could and really should do something, try and work on them maybe take meds, but it all seems a bit too much and a little risky. Risky in the sense that I have no way of knowing if I will like a happier, more secure version of myself. Sometimes it is best to stick with what you understand.

Spent Thanksgiving with friends since Mirian had to rush to Mexico due to the passing of her grandmother. It’s been hard on her thus far and I can’t really blame her, the passing of a love one typically is hard on one’s mind and soul.

Christmas is going and bringing mixed feelings I can’t really explain, except as maybe sadness. Sadness at the lack of family, but oh well.

When I was younger I would have taken most of these feelings and turned them into written word, crafting stories and worlds to escape through. However as I age I spend more time retreating into driving around and listing to music. The music of the moment has become Tom Waits and Mr. Warren Zevon once again.

I’m at work right now, cooking four lbs of bacon is not a fun task and I would never wish it on anyone. Seeing the grease produced by this fatten food product makes one wonder why any of us humans even eat it, and has insured that I may never touch bacon again in my life.



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